The Ninja Woo
by Vashagud
Summary: I'm gonna show you how it's done. I, will show you, how you really get in someone's pants. Reno/Yuffie.
1. Proposals

They don't often run into eachother, because he's busy helping rebuild an empire and she's kind of floating around, biting her lip and gritting her teeth at the crown she can't quite kick away from her heels. He has probably thought about her maybe twice in his life, and it's surprising because she's the princess of _Wutai_, and less surprising because that bartender with the mean right hook also has a pretty mean rack, and really do you notice a girl like that next to a girl like _that_? But he saw her on the street, and he wasn't sure what the answer was. She saw him coming, because that ridiculous hair which she knows is _so _dyed, just attracts attention. She thinks that maybe he just needs attention or something like that, but he gets enough of it with that suit that makes her think of war and territory, an empire that should never rise again and an empire that probably never would again. A Turk. In her language, they actually had a word just for them.

He has a red shock of hair that reminds her of women who put on too much lipstick. And she is more boyishly shaped than he is, and he was never the type to go for that but that day he'd passed her on the street and they'd ultimately wound up at the same location. Seventh Heaven. He understands what people think of him, but he really isn't the type who has a different girl every night. He actually hasn't gotten laid in...well, kind of a long time. Being a Turk is all consuming, even now, when all he has to stand in is a pile of rocks. But she called him a man-whore when it became clear that he was watching Tifa's aforementioned rack through his beer, and he had raised his head, almost sheepish.

Yuffie isn't jealous or really even indignant about it, but she calls him out. Just because she feels like it.

"You are such a loser." she says easily, spinning around on her stool and jumping off of it. She is a skinny, tiny little thing but, Leviathon her legs look miles long. Reno rubs his tired eyes, thinking that maybe he needs to take a personal day, from you know, doing the tons upon tons of absolutely nothing. The absolutely nothing that still manages to soak up all of his time.

"I have no idea what you mean princess." he says tiredly. She grits her teeth. She hates it when people refer to her like that, because ninety percent of the time it has very little to do with her actually being royalty. It only coincidentally fits as a pet name, and she doesn't find it very funny at all.

"Yeah, don't call me that." she says. He shrugs.

"Fine, I won't." but his eyes tell her that he thinks the name is perfect, considering. And she realizes that even if he were to actually address her as such with the proper reverence she still wouldn't like it. She doesn't know what to think about that.

"I do have a name."

"Oh?" he says, with one red arched eyebrow, and she thinks holycrap maybe he really is a natural red.

"Yes. And I'd like to hear it sometime."

"Shit, well now you've made it awkward, because I really don't remember what it is." There is an amusing space of time, where something behind her eyes says that she almost buys that. But her look is suddenly sly and she is moving towards him with a grace he just realizes she has, but doesn't actually use when appropriate. Fighting him when the world was in crisis, no grace to speak of. Sliding her way over to him in a semi crowded bar, as graceful as well…a ninja.

"You're flirting with me." She says. Sighing, he puts some gil on the bar. Her declaration kind of ruins it for him. He is flirting. And he's flirting with that brat ninja girl he actually couldn't remember the name of until about some months ago. He needs to go to sleep, because this is just weird. He should leave, but instead he turns around to face her. There are a thousand things he could say to her, and he thinks a good enough chance that most of them will land her in his bed, but he says none of them. At the last minute the absurdity of the situation hits him full blast and he really can't believe that he was entertaining the idea. Because she's still so much like a little girl and he's not entirely sure he could put an arm around her without feeling like the ultimate pedophile. Contrary to popular belief he does have some shame. She is still looking at him expectantly.

"You know what, never mind. I gotta go home and hit the sack." He starts to head for the door but she is hot on his heels.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, that is _so_ not what you were going to say." He rolls his eyes and turns again to face her.

"Well, what was I gonna say?" he asks. And she looks up to the ceiling in thought.

"I don't know, probably something really lame."

"Lame."

"Yup. Lame. Like," she puffed out her chest and put her hands on her hips. "'what do you say we get outta here?' Something like that…" she said moving her hand to her chin. Reno shrugged.

"Well, it's always worked wonders for me." Yuffie rolled her eyes.

"Tch, whatever."

"You think I was gonna ask you to come home with me?" he said easily. Reno looked on amused, because for all her attitude, she reddened like some of the shyer girls he'd been out with. Yuffie was a lot of show, but how much else, he wondered.

"I _know_ you were." She crossed her arms. Reno shrugged again, just ready to go to bed already. Just talking to her was tiring him out. He decided to make a quick end of it.

"Fine, you got me." Even though she had claimed to know, she still looked a little thrown off by that. "But then I changed my mind." He said bluntly. She looked as insulted as he thought she might. "And judging from your face princess, I think my lame line would have worked for you too." He said slyly. She reddened again.

"_No, _it's not like I woulda said yes or anything, it's just so typical that you lost your nerve." He blinked.

"I didn't lose my nerve, I'm just tired. Which is wh-"

"What_ever_, I bet that if I was like _this__,__" _she motioned wildly in the air, "and _that, _you wouldn't be tired."

"This and that?" she rolled her eyes again.

"You know, like Tifa." Reno nodded. Oh. Well she did have a point there. If he wasn't one hundred percent sure her moody blonde boyfriend wasn't lurking somewhere in the darkness, he would be _all over_ that. Shiva, he'd like to see her wear that outfit from the old day-

"Figures." Yuffie said, interrupting his thoughts. Somewhere along the way he'd let his gaze stray to Tifa.

"So if you were gonna say no anyway, what's your problem?" he put his hands in his pockets. "Let's be honest, it's probably better, that we don't. I'm tired and a little buzzed so-." She looked insulted again.

"So you're trying to tell me that's the only reason you were drooling over me five minutes ago?"

"Yeah, that's what I'm trying to tell you." Reno usually didn't see that as a problem, but right now the girl was already kind of clingy. Combined with everything else, it was a definite no go.

"Fine. But you're missing out." Reno blinked, talk about mixed signals.

"Effin A, Kisaragi, what do you want? Do you want to come home with me?"

"Not a chance. I'm doing things on my own terms."

"What…what is _this_?"

"I'm gonna show you how it's done. I'm gonna show you what you're missin' out on." Yuffie poked him in the chest. "I will show you how to get in someone's pants." Okay, well that's weird. He thought about it though. She had the cute thing going for her, but he was sure that was the extent of her game. But her words woke him up a little. He looked around the bar.

"Alright, who's your target?" She only shook her head.

"Duh. _You._"

Author's Note : So, I'm gonna be honest, this was supposed to be a shameless, badly disguised PWP, and in a way, I guess it kind of still is. XD What happened though, was that I opened this document, which has been sitting on my computer for months, and I realized could have a bit of fun with it first. I don't anticipate this being a very long one, but as I've learned, when it comes to the fanfiction I write, I don't really have a say. The story's boss. Oh, and the rating might go up later. Regardless, I hope you liked it if you read. And I hope you read on.


	2. Guises

After declaring him her target, she was expecting some kind of look of shock, maybe an open mouth, that dumb blinking thing Cid sometimes did when she said something inappropriate enough to get the pilot all huffy and self-righteous, like he didn't swear enough for all of Gaia. Reno just looked at her, totally deadpanned, before he checked his watch and looked over his shoulder at the door.

"Right." he said. He was beyond understanding whatever completely screwed up method lay behind the madness, especially since he was pretty certain it was all madness. If it wasn't happening before, it really wasn't happening now, because now after she'd made a big deal about him not asking her to come over, said she wouldn't anyway, but would getting into his pants at some indiscriminate time despite it all, he was pretty sure he'd just discovered something about Yuffie Kisaragi.

She was crazy as all get out, and probably the type who did things to you in your sleep.

So he was thinking at this time, as her smile slowly turned to a frown, that maybe he had dodged a major bullet not asking her to come over. That maybe he had dodged another incident of waking up to a girl with a buzzing razor in one hand and his ponytail in the other.

"That's all you have to say?" she said, her words partly muffled by all the bar noise.

"Yeah, pretty much. And that's all I'm gonna say."

"You know, you better be more fun than this in bed, or this won't be worth it at all." That, got the face she'd hoped for.

"Princess, you are way too pure for my kind of fun."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like." He looked around the bar, then back at her. "I have a sixth sense about these things. I'm thinking that the only action you've ever gotten is runnin' around in the forest or some shit-"

"Excuse me, what? Running around in the forest, what is that-"

"You know, ducking behind bushes, hidin' from the bunnies and throwin' you're stars at trees..." Yuffie stilled, looked like murder personified.

"Say one more word, Reno. One more word, and you will realize why wise men fear the kunoichi." She crossed one slim arm over the other, just waiting for him to say something. He sighed, figuring it probably wasn't to wise to poke a crazy bear with a stick. Yuffie seemed to realize the other thing he had been insinuating. "Oh, and I get plenty of action. Like,_ tons_."

"Tons huh? Does your daddy know that what you're up to?" Yuffie glanced down at the floor in the split second before her eyes were back beaming up at him, dark and unamused. Now, he'd made a career in dealing with people, and most of the time it was just a job that needed to be done, set with clear objectives right from the get go. There really wasn't as much 'people reading' and detective work as a lot of people thought, and the few times he and Rude had to do any of that, Rude had taken care of that part.

Reno was fine just assuming a hand twitch was a hand twitch, though his time as a Turk and even as kid on the streets told him there was almost always something behind it. He just wasn't great at figuring out what. Reno was good at getting his hands dirty and moving right on with his life and that's why he was so good at his job. But that look he knew. That thing Yuffie had just done with her eyes told him that 'daddy' was a definite hot button.

Rude would be so proud of him, even though Reno clearly had a distinct advantage in this area. He was actually still trying to figure out why he constantly attracted girls with daddy issues.

"Can we _not_ talk about my father right now? Thanks." she sighed. "Way to ruin the mood Reno." he shrugged, endured the awkward silence that followed.

"My bad."

"S'okay." she said easily, as if he hadn't said anything at all. She tapped her chin, "So...what do you say we get outta here?" He laughed.

"So it's okay when you use it?"

"Well, obviously. I make it sound cool. Not lame, like you." She looked around the bar. "And I'm not taking you to my place, I'm taking you somewhere better."

"I'd love to kid, but some of us actually have work in the morn-"

"I figured you'd say that, so I'm gonna propose something. You come with me, if I get...that girl, to come along." She nodded towards a busty redhead sitting alone at one of the tables. Reno raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe you are ready for my kind of fun." he said, still eyeing the girl she'd pointed out. Yuffie shuddered.

"Okay, no. _That's_ gross. She's just a bit of incentive. A way to get the ball rolling."

"Wait, is this you trying to get into my pants?" he asked. Yuffie turned a distracted eye on him.

"...What? Oh, yeah totally." Reno looked utterly confused. Why would she invite another girl along who was clearly more his type, and clearly sure to attract most if not all of his attention? That was no way to get into his bed, that was a sure fire way to get ignored, at least for the night. Reno was just going to be honest about it.

"So, how-" Yuffie patted his tie with one surprisingly dainty hand. Reno thought, that maybe if not for that mouth, Yuffie might seem every part the demure Wutain princess.

"Don't you worry about how this is gonna work. Just know that it is, okay?" Reno was silent. "Now, do you agree to the terms?"

"Fine. You get that girl to come along, I'll go." Yuffie smiled and promptly turned to walk towards the other woman, sitting down in the chair opposite her. Reno watched the exchange closely, a bit incredulously and couldn't help but be impressed. Whatever Yuffie was saying had that girl looking slyly over at him in no time flat. And then the girl nodded, and they were both rising. He couldn't believe it. Was it possible that she was better at picking up girls than he was? Nah, there was no way. He found himself wondering what had been said, but as the other girl approached him with Yuffie trailing closely behind, he figured he should just count his blessings and forget it. It was probably better he didn't know anyway. He snorted, so much for being completely alert at work tomorrow. It didn't matter anyway, he hadn't been completely alert at work for at least a year.

"Hi, I'm Candy." Reno smiled. _Of course _she was. Yuffie stood by smiling deviously enough to raise the same kind of suspicion he always felt around her.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Candy." Yuffie's phone rang, and he watched her pull it out of her pocket, look at the id and flip it open. He turned his attention back to Candy, who he just realized was saying something back to him. He was pleased to see she was a natural red. The trick to it was, not looking at the eyebrows or the even the roots. It was all in the skin. True reds had a particular pallor to the skin. Like milk.

"I can't talk right now. You tell Akira that I don't care-" But Yuffie's voice kept on undercutting his own thoughts on the girl before him, and his eyes strayed to where Yuffie stood frowning against her phone. "There's nothing underneath that land I told you bef-" A hand on the front of his shirt drew his attention back to Candy.

"What's your name?" he smiled.

"Reno." He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Yours is better." The girl giggled, and through her laugh he heard the snap of Yuffie's phone being flipped closed. He looked over to see her flip it open again and start fiddling with the buttons.

"You're so sweet."

"With a name like that, I'd guess you'd know." She giggled again, and he saw Yuffie roll her eyes out of the corner of his eye and continue fiddling with her phone. She smiled down at the face of her phone and then flipped it closed again. Reno returned his gaze to the petite redhead.

"So…what do you say we get outta here?" He pretended not to hear the muffled laugh behind the woman, and smiled good naturedly when the girl promptly agreed. Lame, his ass. All three of them started out of the bar, the ninja trailing rather inconspicuously behind. He didn't know what she had told the girl, but she didn't seem to be bothered at all by the tagging presence. Whenever Reno glanced back at Yuffie she was fiddling with her phone, and after a while, just as he had thought, he'd pretty much forgotten she was there. At least until she called up at them.

"Hey, we gotta stop here first." Yuffie came up and attached herself to his arm. "Candy, we gotta you know…get one of his…um…prescriptions. You can never be too careful, right?" He looked down at her pale arm hooked into his. The 'what are you doing' look was answered with a 'just go along with it look.' Candy already looked as if she understood something he didn't. The white florescent lights of the little convenience store flooded out over them as the trio walked inside, this time with Candy trailing behind. Once in, the girl went browsing around on her own, and Yuffie marched Reno up to the counter. Slipping her arm out of his, she rang the bell for the clerk. Reno turned to her.

"What are you up to Kisaragi?" He looked around and spotted the other girl some aisles over, catching her eye and smiling. He turned back to look at Yuffie, his smile fallen. Yuffie shrugged.

"I needed to make a stop first." She rang the bell again.

"I got that. What I don't get is why I need…prescriptions?"

"Oh that. I told her you were terminally ill." He looked at her.

"Bullshit." he still made an effort to keep his voice low. Yuffie rang the bell three more times.

"I did, I said…" Yuffie tried not to laugh. "That you could be kicking the bucket tomorrow for all we knew and that... you had never known the touch of a woman."

"She bought that?"

"Yeah, crazy right? I might believe the terminally ill thing, but for anyone to think that you'd be a virgin…Tch, I don't know about people sometimes."

"Hey, watch it Kisaragi."

"That's nurse Kisaragi to you." Reno nodded, so that was how she'd done it.

"So, what do you really need here?" Yuffie looked up at him, and he really thought at that moment a nice pair of horns and a big red fork would have done her just fine.

"You're going to buy me cigars." Reno didn't even blink.

"No, I'm not." Yuffie handed him a wad of gil.

"Yes you are."

"By them yourself."

"If I could I wouldn't be asking you to." Reno only stared at her. "Look, in another year I'll be old enough to buy them, but right now I can't, so can you please just do it?" Reno looked towards the clerk, who was slowly approaching the counter.

"You smoke?" He raised one red eyebrow. Yuffie nodded so hard, her hair fell into her face.

"_All _the time."

"Yeah?" Reno whipped out his pack of cigarettes, flipped it open. "Take one." Yuffie swallowed, went to take one. When she got one out, after a while of fretting and changing her mind on which one she was going to pick, he pressed his lighter into her hand. Yuffie thought it felt like the first time she'd ever taken hold of a nunchaku. It was just as solid and cold and…lethal. He smiled. "Scared?"

"_No." _She said quickly. Why should she be scared? Her grandmother hadn't ever been seen not smoking that ultra pure Wutain tobacco.

"Then put it in your mouth." Yuffie glared at him, but did like he said. "And light her up." He said, barely above a whisper. She held the lighter up to the cigarette, but her thumb kept slipping off of the switch, and she felt her heart beating loud in her ears. Reno watched her struggle with it, could see she was nervous, and obviously so green. Watching her try her damndest to smoke, was actually strangely…endearing. But after about thirty seconds of failed attempts, he took his lighter back.

"That's why I'm not getting you cigars."

"You smoke all the time!"

"That's right. I smoke. You _clearly _don't."

"Fine I don't. Maybe I'm just not a cigarette person, but I betcha I'm a cigar person. I just wanna try it, and no one else will get them for me, even _Cid_ wouldn't."

"So you'd thought I'd get them for you?"

"Well, you _are_ a Turk."

"That I am."

"So who else could I find that is more morally corrupt?"

"Huh."

"Please?" He leaned forward, grabbed the cigarette from her mouth with his middle and forefinger. For the split second her lip came into contact with the inside of his finger, he almost forgot that she wasn't even legal. Shiva, hadn't he called it? "Nothing doing princess. Once you start, you don't stop. And seriously, I don't see you handling a cigarette, let alone a cigar. One puff and I know your lights would be way out."

"Do you wish you never started?" she asked, finding his face rather close.

"Never, it's the sweetest vice there ever was." Yuffie sighed as the clerk came up and grouchily declared smoking was prohibited, before asking them what they wanted. Reno cleared his throat.

"Just one cigar please, Mideel…yeah thanks." Yuffie looked at him. "It's for me." Reno said, smirking. "I suddenly have a taste for one." Yuffie crossed her arms huffily.

"Whatever, make sure you get some aspirin, that can be your 'prescription'."

"Can do, nurse princess."

Yuffie's next stop and final destination brought the three of them to a rather new club called the 'Cutting Edge.' Again, Yuffie attached herself to the arm Candy wasn't already on and they all approached the entrance. The sign clearly said twenty one and up, and suddenly Reno started to see a trend. The man at the entrance stopped them, asked them all for id. And as it turned out only Reno had his on him.

"I'll tell you what buddy, I'll let you vouch for one girl." Yuffie's violent tug on his arm and downright evil glare promised pain if he didn't choose her. But he was slowly becoming wise to her scheming, and yeah, it was a little insulting. So as a bit of payback, and he because he wanted what he wanted, he chose Candy.

He waved the cigar on the way in, and was sure Yuffie's face was priceless, but he didn't feel like looking back, and Candy was waving goodbye anyway. Inside, it was just packed enough to make it hot just from the body heat. He took a seat at the bar, and Candy sat beside him, let her chin rest in her hands.

"Reno?" The music was so loud he almost didn't hear her.

"What babe."

"You probably should've picked her."

"What?" He turned to her, and he watched her stare into her drink.

"Well, I don't know…what if something happens to you…who will give you your medicine?" He massaged the back of her neck. She was pretty, but clearly not that bright.

"Nothing's gonna happen to me."

"Oh okay." There was a long silence. "But what if it does? And she's out there all alone."

"She'll be alright, she's resourceful."

"But what if she's not?"

"Candy, she will be, okay?" There was a long silence in which he tried not to think about the girl he'd left outside of the nightclub. Seventeen years old, Shiva. That girl was something else. Probably still trying to get in. Maybe walking home. Alone, in the dark. Reno sighed, damnit. "Candy let's-" but she was already up, talking to someone else. Reno shrugged and went to exit the club. When he stepped outside, lo and behold there she was, still trying to get a sucker to escort her in. He took her away from the rather annoyed crowd, and she struggled a little but eventually she was walking beside him when she either realized it was hopeless, or that he didn't plan on letting go.

"Where's Candy?"

"Not with me, that's for sure." He lit up a cigarette.

"Wow, really? How do you strike out with a set up like that?"

"You have nurse like nurse Kisaragi, that's how." He blew out a cloud of smoke. "You woulda thought you were getting beaten and raped out here the way she was worryin' over you."

"Aw." Yuffie said, genuinely touched.

"'Aw' to the rape or the worrying?" Yuffie swatted him.

"Aw, because you're a jealous bastard and she likes me more than she likes you."

"Why don't you get into_ her_ pants then."

"Because I'm getting into yours." She said easily. Reno stopped.

"No you're not. Don't think I don't know what you're doing." He said. Yuffie raised both of her eyebrows and leaned forward, into the light of the one of the street lamps.

"What am I doing?"

"Don't play innocent with me kid, you're not great at it. You don't really want to get into my pants, all you want is for me to help you do all the shit you can't do because you're like…eleven." Yuffie shoved him.

"I'm seventeen and a _half,_ asshole."

"Whatever, I'm too tired for games right now."

"And…I totally am seducing you, you just haven't noticed yet."

"If I haven't noticed yet, I think it's safe to say that you're doing a terrible job."

"You'll see."

"The only thing I plan on seeing right now is my bed." They resumed walking. He sighed. "Where's your place?"

"Two blocks from here." She said. "It's a really rough neighborhood, in fact every night someone's knifed. To death. But I'll be okay…"

"Yup. I'm sure you will." He said, tossing his cigarette. She stopped and stamped her foot.

"Reno…"

"Fine. Hurry the hell up." And he proceeded to walk her home under the streetlights, something he normally didn't do, even if a girl did put out. And when he looked to the ninja's face for a reason, he found none because her face was dark in the night, and she talked so damn much he couldn't even hear his own thoughts.

Author's Note : Thank you all so much for the reviews! I guess with this first chapter, I have officially committed to a storyline that is definitely forming, but not all together yet. But something's there at least, and the next chapter should both shed some light on this chapter and continue the journey.


	3. Coffee

Disclaimer : This chapter has quite a bit more language than the previous chapters. Still, I don't think the content is enough to move it up to M yet. So I just wanted to put that out there, for both new and old readers. And since I'm here...I don't own it. Enjoy!

It was a Thursday morning two weeks later that Reno saw his last piece of dignity as a Turk shrivel up and die. Okay, that might've been just tad melodramatic, but he hadn't had any coffee or smokes yet and when he saw that new desk roll up, his life very nearly flashed before his eyes.

"There is no way." He said, taking about two steps back. Elena ran a finger over the desk.

"At least it's new, the president could've just given you one of those old ones in storage." she said, taking a sip from her coffee.

"...Hm, I didn't think of that. That makes everything different." he said, looking towards the outside, where he should've been doing something that was...not this. Elena looked at him, predictably scandalized.

"It should. He didn't even have to bother." she shook her head. "How did you end up with the _redwood_?" Reno was incredulous and officially cranky.

"Are you listening to yourself Lena? We're Turks, we don't do this shit. It's a _desk_. It could be made from all the panties in Edge and it would still be a desk."

"You're disgusting." Elena tapped on her mug.

"But I'm _right."_

"No, you're lazy. It's just paperwork. Part of being a Turk is-"

"Actually being a Turk." He said, watching Rude knock gently on the coffee machine. Elena rolled her eyes. "Shiva, has Tseng got you giving the responsibility speeches now?" Reno turned his attention back to her, and she was doing that indignant, blushing thing she did whenever he referenced Tseng the way he always referenced Tseng.

Elena was such a complete stickler for the rules even Reno had given up having fun with her like he used to back when she was a rookie, so wet behind the ears and just a little too desperate to please. She took everything so seriously, he was really surprised she and Tseng weren't already naming their future stonefaced babies.

But both of them were so keen on those overrated things like 'professionalism', and 'responsibility'.

Elena was a stick in the mud, Tseng kept his stick somewhere...else.. and Reno, he was just fine keeping his in his pocket. But Ramuh, there wasn't a thing like the feeling of electric in your hand, and good solid hits. He was actually considering starting a fight just so he could use it. He could already hear Tseng's voice, the speeches about ethics and proper conduct. But Reno had always been quick to point out that for a Turk, those things were a different set altogether.

"I don't think anything I could say would reach you anyway." she said, looking down enviously on his desk, running her palm across the edge.

"Hm. You caught onto that a lot faster than Tseng. Now, if you'll excuse me, I haven't had my coffee yet so..."

"The machine doesn't work." Reno stopped midstep. He watched Rude continue to rap on it, which was all wrong. What you had to do was beat the life out of it, and you were guaranteed at least a few drops. Then you continued to beat the life out of it, and it was possible to get somewhere close to a cup. Reno wondered if he could somehow get away with using his electro-mag. "You can't shake it either." Reno watched as Rude reluctantly went over to his area, coffeeless. Reno frowned.

"Figures, we move into this office and everything goes to hell. Even the universe is trying to tell us this is bullshit..." Reno mumbled something about paperwork and sticks and then proceeded towards the exit. "I'm going for a smoke, no fondling my desk while I'm gone." Elena blinked, opened her mouth to say something back but by the time she could think of anything he was gone.

He was only halfway down the stairs when his phone rang. He flipped it open and answered.

"Hey."

"Hey, wow it actually worked..." Reno continued to descend the stairs.

"Who's this?" There was a dramatic sigh on the other end.

"Who do you think it is?"

"Listen, I don't really have time for this."

"Yes you do." Reno stopped, standing at the foot of the lobby stairs.

"...Is this that goddamned home shopping network again? I don't know how you keep getting this number, but it'd be in your best interest burn that shit right now. If you don't, if I hear from you again, I promise I will be paying you a visit, and all that will be left of that place and your goddamned yoga balls will be ashes, you understand?"

"...Wow, that was extreme. No, not a telemarketer. Guess again."

"How about you tell me who you are before I hang up?"

"Because that's no fun. It's not like you actually have anything to do, you're just standing there." Reno paused, looked around.

"What the hell is this?"

"Guess." Reno gave it a try, figuring this would at least be more interesting than what he had to do upstairs.

"You're stalking me." the person on the other line made a snorting sound.

"You are _so_ full of yourself."

"Are you hot?" He could hear by the way her breath suddenly caught, that he'd knocked her completely off her train of thought.

"...So if I was a hot stalker, the _stalking _thing would be like, okay?"

"Depends on how hot."

"That's really sad."

"Hey, I've got an open mind."

"You really don't know who this is?" Reno could almost hear the pout. He sighed and gave up the game.

"What do you want Yuffie? How did you even get my number?"

"Not telling. You might burn down my house." Reno smiled against the phone.

"Alright, here's a better question. Why are you stalking me?"

"I...told you I'm..._not_..." she was getting flustered. "Just shut up, okay? Let's go get coffee, before I change my mind." He paused, Yuffie was asking him out for coffee? He supposed she was taking a much slower route in his seduction than he has initially thought. Though he didn't really see the method there. If she was really still at it, he didn't see why she didn't just come into his work in something sexy under one of those conspicuous trench coats. It seemed more her style to lay it on thick, but then when he thought about it, her being the hyperactive, slightly bipolar semi-woman, he wasn't sure if it would turn him on or completely freak him out.

It wasn't like he had a major hang up about age, she wasn't _really_ eleven, but it was all of the things combined that made him somewhat wary. He felt like getting involved with her in general just might be the combination of every girl he'd had to throw out of his apartment at some time or another because he wasn't planning on getting married, or shanked in his sleep.

She was so young he couldn't be sure she wouldn't get attached, and she was just crazy enough to make him question if he was sane to even think about it. And then there was the princess thing, and the _entitlement_. It was entirely possible she was exactly the way she was making herself seem, casual and in it for the fun, but sometimes it looked to him that it mostly was an act.

He didn't know, and he didn't feel like thinking about it too hard, but life and work had taught him not too get to comfortable around people with more than one face.

"Bad time kid. I gotta a lotta..." he sighed, thinking about the paperwork. "...really important Turk shit to do."

"So?" Reno was surprised to find that even her extremely limited argument of 'So?' was enough to make him think of the work waiting for him upstairs, and think about shirking it completely. Contrary to what people thought he did take his job seriously, he just didn't let that mess up the fun that came along with it. But this stuff he was doing now was not his job, was at times completely ridiculous and he was growing a little weary with it. But still, after everything he wouldn't give up being a Turk for anything in the world, and it kept food on his table so what more could he possibly need?

Well, right now coffee would be great.

"Hello?" Yuffie's voice rang in his ears. "I don't have all day Reno."

"Shiva, I'm _thinking_ about it. Give me a minute."

"Well hurry up, I'm gonna be as old as you soon if you don't-"

"Some of us have responsibilities Kisaragi." Ifrit's balls, did he just say that?

"Oh whatever, you know you want the coffee. You sure aren't gonna get any in there."

"It might be, wait...how do you know that?"

"Um...huh?" Reno narrowed his eyes.

"How do you know that I can't get coffee in here?"

"I...well...duh, the coffee shops are all out here!"

"Huh."

"Come _on. _I'm ready to get my tall chocolate loca coca mocha-"

"Fine. I'm headin out."

"Hey, don't you want me to tell you were I am?" Reno laughed.

"What part of me being a Turk don't you understand?"

"You...can see me?"

"Yup."

"How long?"

"Long enough, I'll be right out."

When Yuffie saw him emerge from the building, she lowered her binoculars and flipped her phone closed. But she remained tucked inside the shadows of a building across the street, not sure she believed that he could have spotted her. She waited to see if he would actually start walking towards her and smiled triumphantly when he stopped at the end of the sidewalk. But that smile was promptly extinguished when after lighting up (of course) he turned to look at her, and beckoned her over with one of his fingers.

She hesitated, looked at her own hand clearly darkened by the shadows, sighed and came out of hiding. She was so bummed, she didn't even look when she crossed the street. A car skidded to a halt a few feet away from her, and through the heavy glaze of sunlight, all she could see was a fist come down on the horn. Whoever it was behind the wheel didn't let up, and in the noise of the horn that was still going, Yuffie turned around right where she was and narrowed her eyes.

But before she could approach the car, she was yanked out of the street by her arm.

"Hey! I was gonna talk to that guy." Reno let go once on the sidewalk and Yuffie rubbed her arm.

"Do that on your own time, I gotta get back some time today."

"He was so _rude_, couldn't he see I was walking? People in this place-"

"Will run you over even _if_ you're the princess of Wutai. I came for the coffee, not to clean you up off the pavement."

"Oh I'm sorry. I nearly get run over, and it's you're problem? Maybe I'll find someone else to take to coffee." Reno blinked.

"You're paying?" Yuffie started walking and he fell into step.

"I thought about it."

"You'd cover a large coffee?"

"I don't know, you're being such a jerk I don't think you deserve it." People were looking at them and he wasn't sure if was because of his distinctive suit or her famous face. Or maybe because the two of them paired together was as likely as Elena laughing at one of his jokes.

"But if you ask my forgiveness, I might get you a donut too." For the first time though, he realized that she must be _loaded. _Maybe even more so than Rufus.

"Yeah?" He asked, ignoring the way his stomach clenched in on emptiness at the thought. Yuffie grinned.

"Jelly filled."

"Sorry to disappoint princess, but I've got my own cash. Thanks for the offer though." She only shrugged.

"Okay." They continued to walk down the length of the street, and the late spring breeze made goose bumps rise up on his neck. He wondered how she didn't seem to be affected, since she was always wearing these little scraps of clothes. Not that he was complaining. He stopped when he spotted the place he went from time to time, when he had a particular itch for really cheap, really pungent coffee. She stopped only to look at him.

"What?"

"This is the place." he said, looking through the glass to the inside.

"Uh...no." she said taking his arm, just like he had done to her earlier. He looked down and it was funny how her whole hand didn't completely wrap around even his forearm.

"Uh, yes. The coffee's strong and cheap, and that's good enough for me."

"My place is better, they give you extra whipped cream and everything." She gave him a hard look, but beneath it he saw such a absurdly dreamy look he rolled his eyes. Cissnei always used to get that look when she got her overly sweet, frilly coffees.

"You may need all that bullshit in your coffee, but all I need is-" Yuffie stamped her foot. Took her hand off of his arm, some her nails scratching him in the process.

"It is _not_ bullshit, it's _the best thing ever. _You don't know what you're talking about." Yuffie glanced at her watch, and bit her lip. "We have to hurry..or else I'm gonna miss him." she frowned. "Come on, let's go."

"Who?" Yuffie looked up at him, as if she'd forgotten he was there.

"Um...there's this guy who makes the best cappuccino. He's only there for like...ten more minutes." Reno watched her wind her fingers in and out of her hair. She was either lying, or she had some incredibly restless hands. Rude would know. But he couldn't tell because both were entirely possible. And then he wondered if he really wanted to be getting _coffee_ with _Yuffie Kisaragi. _

"Right. Well, I'm going here. You can go do whatever you want." He went to enter, but he was stopped again by a hand on his arm. He looked over his shoulder and she was right behind him with probably the best puppy dog eyes and accompanying pout he'd ever seen. It wasn't expected, because as child-like as she was she wasn't really one and he didn't know what to say for a few very strange seconds.

He'd never actually seen her use that questionable cuteness, and he was both intrigued and surprised.

"Please?" she said, and Odin, it was weird how that translated, it wasn't so much cute anymore than completely and utterly lolita-like whether it was intentional or not. "Please, Reno?" he exhaled, feeling depraved, and very much the sexual deviant. He turned away from the door, and as he did her face returned back to normal, both a smile and eyeroll lurking underneath. Then with one very skeptical glance at her, they once again started down the street.

Neither elaborated any further on what had just happened. It wasn't particularly momentous, but it made Reno start to speculate once again about her game, and Yuffie held her own self-satisfied silence. It couldn't have been more than five minutes before Yuffie was nearly jogging towards her destination, Reno following behind with longer, but slower strides.

"What's the hurry?" Yuffie whipped around, nearly at the end of the block.

"I'm not hurrying." she said a bit breathless, before jogging on. He continued to follow, having to speed up a bit himself, and not enjoying the effort. That cushiony chair behind his desk didn't seem so bad right now. But the coffee was top priority. After another block, Yuffie came to an abrupt stop did a kind of backwards run until she was by his side. Grabbing his hand, she looked up and him and grinned.

"Okay, slow down." Raising both of his eyebrows, he looked down at their joined hands. It was funny how wrong holding hands seemed when he'd already considered sleeping with her. It wasn't his style, and he was _sure_ it wasn't Yuffie's either.

"What are you doing?" he asked, now frowning. Yuffie smiled, and the way the shadows fell on that part of the street, the was a band of darkness right around her eyes.

"Can't a girl hold a guy's hand without it being suspicious?" Reno looked at her. He hadn't said anything about it being suspicious, but now he really was. Yuffie had slowed them both down to a nearly leisurely walk, and it felt like every single classic sign of a set-up. He'd done it and been the target before, so he was pretty sure about this one. Suddenly she stopped and quickly glanced into the store window of the store they'd stopped in front of, which was an artillery shop. Reno looked down at her, gaze unwavering.

"What. Are you doing?" he asked again, seriously. He went to take his hand away, but she only clung tighter.

"Nothing." she said, glancing again at the door. He was about to just leave her there and go back to his normal coffee place when she leaned up to kiss him, but at the same time the door opened and he immediately turned his head to look and lo and behold it was the other brooding Avalancher, Vincent Valentine. Yuffie's kiss landed on his cheek and as his mind caught up to what was really happening, he heard her fall back on her heels and address the ex-Turk.

"Oh, Vincent! I had no idea you'd be here!" Reno finally understood, and he looked back at Yuffie who was grinning like a mad person. Vincent looked at them both, and no doubt saw through the whole thing just as Reno did. He sighed.

"I'm sure." he said, his bag dangling by his side. Reno wondered why Valentine was stocking up in a time of peace. He sure didn't seem the type of guy who went shooting for fun. Practice maybe.

"It's so crazy running into you like this..." she said, standing a little closer to Reno.

"Yes. I seem to be running into you quite a bit."

"Small world." she said, looking at Vincent who returned her gaze in a moment Reno knew he wasn't at all a part of.

"Hm." Was all he said, and Yuffie's smile faltered, when she saw how clearly ineffective her little ploy was.

"Well...bye then." she said, sounding both insulted and a little wounded.

"Bye." Vincent said, nodding once at Reno before sweeping off.

Once they were left alone again, Yuffie untangled herself from him and crossed her arms over herself. She started down the street again and turned around when she realized Reno wasn't following.

"What?" she asked, clearly irritated. He put his hands in his pockets.

"You know what." Yuffie ground her teeth together, glanced at one of the buildings on the other side of the street.

"Whatever, just come on. I really need a coffee now..." she exhaled, and he still didn't move. "Come _on."_

"You mean on the off chance we're headed to an actual coffee shop?" she blinked.

"What? Of course we are, don't be stupid-"

"No, what's stupid is a coffee with fuckin' sprinkles and fuckin' cookies and whipped cream-" Yuffie was actually a little shocked that he'd guessed so correctly about her coffee of choice.

"I..._You're _stupid!" Reno rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I guess so, because I walked six goddamned blocks to get an imaginary cup of fuckin jo. I'm going back to my usual place, and gettin-" Yuffie reached in her back pocket, pulled out something and threw it at him. It hit him solidly in the chest. He realized it was his wallet.

"Fine! Go get you're disgusting, boring, nasty coffee!" she narrowed her eyes. "Why are you being such an asshole?" Picking up his wallet, he shook his head.

"Maybe because of things like this." he held up his wallet. " What the hell Kisaragi?"

"It was all totally part of the plan!" Reno looked on, deapanned.

"Oh right, the _seduction _plan? Give me a break."

"It was."

"You don't think I see what you're doing? What the hell that was back there?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't. So were you just expecting him to jump into your arms, or what?" Yuffie looked back up at him. "Were you expecting a declaration of undying love because he was _so jealous_?" Yuffie's eyes went wide, then narrowed.

"Shut up."

"You could've just been up front about this shit." Yuffie held her head.

"Oh my god, I can't believe you're angry because I _didn't_ want you just for sex!" Two people passing by looked at them. Both Reno and Yuffie were silent until they reached the next block.

"No, you wanted me to get you smokes, you wanted me to get you in that club, you wanted me to help you get your boyfriend jealous, does that cover it?" Yuffie was silent. "Consider my pants closed. You're ridiculous and fuckin crazy, and not in the good way." He pocketed his wallet and turned to walk the other way. "I'm going to go get my nasty, cheap coffee, and then I'm going back to do some goddamned paperwork..."

Yuffie stood on the sidewalk, and watched him go, offended and shocked that she had clearly offended and shocked him. She didn't think he would react like that if he ever caught on, considering his general attitude towards her and women in general. He was acting like such a...girl, and though it was just a little funny, mostly it wasn't. Her day was officially ruined because of one ex and one present Turk. She wanted to blame it on them, but she looked so plainly like an idiot she couldn't manage it.

And here was the kicker, even after he'd been such a major jerk, insulted her coffee and helped ruined a perfectly good day, she kind of felt...bad.

Author's Note : This should be wrapped up in either the next or next two chapters. A lot of this was in Reno's head, and in the following chaps, I want to show more of Yuffie's thoughts and motivations. A lot of things that were hinted at or might have been confusing should clear up then. Thanks so much for reading! Till next time.


	4. Surprises

A few weeks later, he found himself elbow deep in paperwork. And though occasionally he'd go off on a passionate tangent at the water cooler, he'd return to his desk and do the work since it'd been made clear that he really had no choice in the matter.

After a respectable stand off, Rufus himself had put an end to it. The deal was, he got to smoke his cigarettes in the office, just as long as there were no burn marks or ashes left on the work. But he had to the paperwork. Even Tseng had acquiesced to it, weary of Reno's complaining and he was sure he'd even seen Elena lighting up in her cubicle too.

All was good. Or as good as it could be. And then almost in an instant a shadow suddenly fell over his paperwork. He didn't even glance at the tiny opening of his cubicle. There was no reason she should be standing there blocking the light, but somehow he knew it was her. That and he smelled coffee and the unmistakable mark of too much chocolate drowning in too much whipped cream.

"Hey." She said and he glanced over then, finding she was dressed like usual. In next to nothing, even though it was raining outside.

"How did you even get in here?" He asked, eyeing her coffee and shaking his head. She only smiled and held up the id slung around her neck. He noticed with some shock that it said WRO.

"Used to be our old building before Reeve started getting all picky." She shrugged. "And I just happened to be around so…"

"Right." He said, turning back to the paperwork. "So you just happened to stop by too." She frowned.

"Things do sometimes _just happen."_

"With you? I don't think so Kisaragi." Reno leafed through the stack on his desk and Yuffie almost wanted to laugh at the depressing image Reno made sitting in his cubicle. "What are you doing here anyway?" he said, trying very hard at least to look like he was doing paperwork. Spying his pack of cigarettes at the edge of the desk he snatched it up like a life line and lit up in no time flat. Yuffie smiled tightly and took a few steps into his 'office.'

"I'm…" she let out a shuddered breath and could all but hide the disgust with what she was about to do, and Reno's constant attitude. _"…apologizing." _He stopped, spun around in his swivel chair to face her and raised his eyebrows.

"Really." He blew out a long string of smoke, nearly right into her face. "The Great Ninja Yuffie, is apologizing." Yuffie grit her teeth.

"Yeah."

"For what?" He took another drag and turned back to look at the stack on his desk. "I promise my heart's not broken or anything." Yuffie perched on the edge of his desk.

"The first step is admitting that your heart is broken Reno. Trust me, I have this affect on a lot of guys."

"Huh. That doesn't sound like apologizing, actually kinda sounds like complete bullshit."

"Wow. You're such an _ass_." She put the frilly coffee down on his desk. "But I am a ninja of infinite patience so-"

"Well I know _that'_s bullshit. Ninja of infinite patience…you're kinda funny though."

"You know what? What don't you shut your mouth before I _infinitely_ mess up your face?" She sighed, and tried not to get flustered.

"Was that the apology?" he asked, shaking some of the ashes off of his cigarette. Yuffie took a deep breath.

"No." Reno listened. "I just wanted to say that....here, drink this coffee." Reno looked at it. "It's part of the apology."

"No thanks."

"Seriously Reno? That was a ten gil coffee!"

"Drink it yourself then, you're the one who likes all that stuff in it."

"If you try it, I know you'll like it."

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"I'm trying to apologize damnit!"

"Apologize and annoy aren't the same thing, in case you didn't know." Yuffie pushed herself off of his desk.

"Do you make a habit out of being a giant asshole to people who are just trying to be _nice!_?" She roared, sending a few head turning in their individual cubicles. Reno was nonplussed.

"Do you make it a habit of running into people who clearly want to avoid you?" He said very obviously referring to the earlier incident with Vincent. Yuffie just glared at him, gave him one dainty middle finger and left.

Almost immediately he realized that he'd messed up. And for a few minutes he tried to proceed with his work. But he couldn't even fool himself with that bit, and so with more than a few eyes on him he left too, in pursuit. He found her at the doors of the courtyard, looking appropriately sulky. He guessed that maybe there really had been something going on between the two of them, which was really weird to think about.

Yuffie didn't seem like the type to like Vincent's type, but what did he know?

"I'm sorry, alright?" he said watching her stare out of the glass doors. "I didn't mean to, you know…"

"I broke the coffee machine." She said suddenly, and he stopped. "I was here with Reeve and I went to go get coffee, and I broke it." She looked over her shoulder. "I'm kind of clumsy sometimes." Then she turned back to the window.

"Really. I didn't notice."

"That's how I knew you'd come out for coffee. And…" she sighed. "I'm sorry about the whole Vincent thing. I don't know I why I thought that would work, he's like a freakin' brick wall…" she paused. "And if it means anything, I didn't really _mean_ to use you, I _totally_ wanted to just get into your pants. "

"Yeah?" Reno wondered what kind of man he was, when something like that actually made him feel a little better. Yuffie gave him a strange look.

"Yeah, but then…" she smiled.

"Then what?"

"You were staring at Candy's boobs like, the whole night. And I figured maybe I had…I don't know, bitten off more than I could chew?" She crossed her arms over herself. "I invited her in the first place because I'm sure you wouldn't even have gone if I hadn't." Reno wasn't sure she was wrong about that. "I mean it's not your fault you can't appreciate a graceful, crafty ninja when you see one, so I thought that would get the ball rolling. But you just kept staring at her boobs and I figured I might as well get what I could out of the bet." She shrugged. "And it was kind of fun, I'm so bored lately."

Reno didn't know if he should be insulted or not, but he only shrugged, and went to the doors to look at the rain.

"Yeah well, join the club." She turned to look out of the doors with him.

"Is it weird that I almost _miss _fighting for the planet?" He nodded.

"Only if it's weird that I'd give just about anything to set fire to my desk, and start doing the bloody kind of work again." Yuffie sighed.

"_Turks." _She smiled. "Hey, wanna go outside?" He looked at the rain.

"Sure."

Once outside in the courtyard, they stood and watched the rain silently. Pulling the wet hair out of her eyes, Yuffie turned to Reno.

"Can you smoke in the rain?" Reno shrugged, red hair nearly plastered to his head.

"Never tried."

"Really? Well can we try now?" she asked, eyes dark and sparkling.

"We? Are you still trying to-"

"Please?" And there it was again, that almost disgusting cuteness. He sighed.

"I'm not giving you a cigarette." He pulled one seemingly out of nowhere and lit it. "But we can share this one. Here, first drag." He held it out between his fingers, and she smiled and took it. Yuffie watched the cherry as she held it in her own hands, glanced at Reno who was kind of unnerving her with how intensely he was watching, and then she took her first long drag.

"Ifrit, don't inhale the whole damn thing." He said with a bit of a laugh. "You'll die on number one if you keep that up." Yuffie took it back into her fingers and coughed all the smoke out. Reno took the cigarette back and promptly took a drag while she continued to cough her lungs out all over the wet ground.

"Gawd." Cough. "That…" Cough. "That's awful." Cough. "Why did you…" Cough. "Let me do that?" Cough.

"_You_ wanted to." He said as Yuffie started to regain herself again.

"I want a lot of things." She said looking out across the courtyard again. "Doesn't mean I can have them. Hey, Ren-" His mouth descended on hers through a cloud of smoke and she was so shocked she couldn't close her eyes, which was fine because his were open too. And when she pulled away and started coughing again he actually _smiled. _Recovering faster this time, she straightened and snatched the cigarette from his hand.

"Reno-"

"You're my type just as much as I'm your type, so what does it matter?" He cradled one of her damp cheeks into his hand, and she actually blushed. And in one of those crazy moments of instinct, he saw right through her. "Have you…ever been kissed before?" Her eyes went as wide as saucers, and the answer was right there.

"I…" Reno shook his head, smiling. So that was no, and it was pretty reasonable to assume none of the rest had happened either. She sputtered in an explanation that wouldn't come, but Reno stopped her.

"We can fix that, you know." He said and she blinked.

"I have though…" she said sulkily, lips quivering and warm for him when he broke the barrier for real, and pressed his lips to hers without all that smoke between them. It was sweet and none of what either of them thought they'd end up with, but with her hands tight on his tie and his hands hot against her cheeks, it wasn't so bad. And when he pulled away, his cigarette was shaking in her fingers.

"I gotta go back to work." He said, taking the wet, useless cigarette back and throwing to the ground.

"Oh." She said with all the hints of immediate attachment he knew too well in girls who were untouched. But then she smiled. "Wanna have coffee later then?" He knew that with her it was way too early to be relieved, but he kind of was and his life was wide open so he figured…

"Why not." And it made him if wonder if maybe she _had_ done some kind of strange voodoo on him. But he didn't think too hard on it.

It was different and new, and broke the monotony like she'd claimed to have broken his heart. He'd known as she'd slunk over to him in the bar that night that he'd be getting none of what he bargained for. So it wasn't so much of a surprise that he'd ended up with more.

Author's note : The End. So, different from how I normally do things, here's a sorta kinda happy ending. XD Though I suppose it's not if you were really rooting for the hotsex (so was I) but as I wrote this, it just didn't seem the right direction. I hope you enjoyed it regardless, because I enjoyed writing it.


End file.
